Most days when I’m driving in and out of Manoa Valley, I see this guy walking, sometimes jogging alongside the road. He looks like a local guy, flattop haircut, smart moustache, always wearing the same outfit: black shorts, black shirt and a long-sleeved white-shirt under the black; white socks, black shoes. Most of the time he’s stretching his arms out, like he’s keeping them prepped, warm, ready for action.
And he always has this stern look on his face; and he seems very alert, conscious of everything that’s going on. He seems like the kind of guy you wouldn’t mess with.
I first started running again on July 4th. I wondered if I would run into this guy and what I would do…
Turns out he and I did cross paths; we nodded somberly at each other and instantly I felt this connection, this sense of well-being.
This is the guardian of Manoa.
Now, I’m sure he’s just a man trying to make his way from day-to-day like everyone else. But just seeing him out most days, on patrol, eyes always looking around, I can’t help but imagine that if any danger or threat were to come to this valley, he’d be there.
It’s been three months since one world ended and another began.
Dadgummit…makes me misty already…
He’s been with us for three months. I remember thinking three days was a big deal and then three weeks.
His personality is definitely emerging (as are his vocal talents) and…it’s just amazing.
Life just keeps barreling on.
Jenn started back at her job this week after taking off a whole year to aid in Nightstorm’s conception and to allow her a little more time with him.
I’m taking this and next week off from work to help a bit with the transition as well as furthering my own career transition out of the Navy in just a couple more months(!).
And this week we’re getting an idea of what it’s like to have someone else watch our kid for the day while we both work. Spoiler alert: it’s weird.
It’s good in that it’s her parents, so the boy is already getting some good multi-generational exposure in there, but still. To think that he’ll be spending the majority of his days now with people other than his parents.
Jenn felt the melancholy more than I did, at first, because she’s been with him all day everyday (with the exception of a couple date nights and a spa day) since he popped out of her very own body. And her body continues to nourish him, day in and day out – talk about an intimate bond…
But then, this morning I felt it, too. Getting him ready, putting him in the car seat, driving him to his grandparents’ house. A part of me wanted to call and cancel, to say that I’ll be spending time with my son today and everyday the rest of my vacation time. Thing is, it’s just not practical.
Even though I’m off from my day job, I’ve got to hustle a bit to ensure that my next step is ready and generating income. I mean, I’ll have income from the G.I. Bill when I go back to school at UH, but in trying to supplement that with the dream I’ve pursued since I was in middle school in trying to get published through crowdfunding; it’s taking a lot of work – work I can’t necessarily do with an adorable, yet needy, little/big munchkinboy hanging out with me. And then first full week of August I’m back in the office again anyway.
I don’t know about Jenn, but I think what I’m feeling is a sense of failure. Our family unit is unable to stay together throughout the day; Stormy has to be with someone other than his nuclear family because we can’t afford to be a single-income family.
But then I realize that this is actually the norm – the state of the American dream, I reckon. It’s how I was raised, by babysitters and daycare supervisors before I was in school and then afternoons after school, waiting to be picked up; during the summer months, too, until I was old enough to be a latchkey kid.
And for the first time I really understand what the debate about paid family leave is all about and I have a sudden urge to relocate to Iceland or Sweden.
Nevertheless I am grateful for in-laws who love their grandbaby and spending time with him, so for them it’s no chore.
I look forward to a time where it doesn’t have to be this way, but if grandma and grandpa can babysit so mom and dad can have lovey-dove fun time that’d be great.
Some days these next couple of weeks I will be staying home and looking after Stormy all day to get a feeling of what it may be like to work from home should my writing or video production career take off.
Sometimes when he starts getting fussy or needy and clingy I want to teach him independence and how to lay the ju-do smackdown on feelings and such. But then when my picking him up calms him, or when he flashes that precocious, half-smile my damn heart melts to gooey-gooey blood sauce confections.
Three months…where will he be in three years? In three decades?
After a couple false starts involving vanishing Word docs, I’ve finally got a handle on the file management system with back-up and so hopefully I won’t have to start the book bible from scratch again. Especially now; it’s getting quite extensive.
[You can pre-order here: https://www.inkshares.com/books/the-frozen-wastes ]
I DID start on the manuscript tonight – got a whopping 476 words! I know that’s not a lot, but I got 800 and change in the bible, so in all, over 1200 words going toward the story. And however many is in the chapter posted here and that’s over 2000! Only 48000 to go! Woohoo!
I want to thank you all again for following and supporting and especially for the folks who plunked down the digital cash for the pre-order! That’s really the best kind of support an author can get, I think. Moral support is great, of course, and the support of my wife, giving me time to work on all this, is fantastic. But moral support doesn’t get books published – dolla bills do.
I know I didn’t finish out the project before, but you can rest assured I will finish this time.
There’s about 88 more days in this campaign…please tell your friends, especially if they like sci-fi/fantasy in the vein of the Weasley twins taking Frodo Baggins to a party at Cair Paravel being DJed by the Doctor and crashed by Kefka.
If you get all those references or know someone who would, this book is DEFINITELY FOR YOU. If you just like the Harry Potter books, Chronicles of Narnia, The Hobbit and the like, THIS BOOK IS FOR YOU. It’s book 1 of 13, so there’s a lot more adventure to be had!
Four years ago to the day my life was about to change in ways I never imagined.
I boarded the plane in Baltimore, had a six hour delay in Chicago, and at 11ish PM Friday, July 13, 2012, I set foot in Honolulu for the first time in 23 years.
When I was eight years old my family spent our summer vacation here for just shy of two weeks, I think. We landed in Honolulu, spent the night here, then flew to Maui the next day for a few days, then to the Big Island for a few days, then back to Oahu for the last few days before heading back East.
I have a handful of solid memories but mostly just impressions from that trip:
Marveling at the lava flow on Big Island.
Running around a golf course at midnight on Maui and helping bullfrogs learn to fly.
Sparrows flying into the rooftop restaurant on Oahu.
Being afraid that the roof of any of the inter-island Aloha airline planes we rode would come off like it did a few months before.
Chewing sugarcane for the first time.
Watching my first Indiana Jones movie – The Last Crusade – at a drive-in movie theater.
Marveling at the hula ladies…
Even then I couldn’t put my finger on it, but there was something magical about this place.
Twenty-seven years later, after four years of living here I still can’t.
The Aloha Spirit.
The verdant landscape.
The very earth itself brimming with life and vitality.
There’s just something magical, mystical; old yet fresh about this place.
While I’m not a fan of the population density on Oahu, I always feel like I’m back home whenever I return from a trip somewhere else (with the exception of The Big Island – I always feel like I’m going back home whenever I visit there).
Four years ago today, I had no idea what I was getting myself into; what with my assignment at a joint command, my first duty station usually reserved for no lower than E-5s, maybe an E-4 soon to be promoted, yet there I was, an E-3.
And little did I know how much of the world I was about to see.
I thought boot camp and “A” School busted open my worldview…
Cumulatively six months in Southeast Asia and the South Pacific.
A month and some change in Europe and then a couple months on a couple glaciers.
I feel as though I’ve certainly aged, but I also feel as though I’ve gotten a little younger somehow…
Started making real-life grown-up decisions on my own, being as far away as one can be from friends and family before you start going back around.
Knowing what I know now there are some things I wouldn’t have done, but I don’t really regret anything. It all goes into that worldview I was talking about before.
I’ve learned not to grasp things too tightly for too long, so I’ve learned to cherish the present moments even more.
Entering the service and giving up many freedoms have helped me appreciate and value freedom even more; I feel more a free man than I ever have.
I met my wife and my kid was born here.
Where will I be in four more years? No clue.
Probably still around. Maybe about to head elsewhere; who knows?
Until then I just keep doing what I do everyday: take it one day at a time.